The girls and I had some fun today doing manicures and pedicures for each other. Oh, I love having girls. I am just getting glimpses of all the fun things we will get to do together.Morgan, such a ham..........
Today the Lord had to remind me of something I think I already knew, but had definitely forgotten.
I had been asked to play a piano solo at church, a version of How Great Thou Art. I had agreed reluctantly because.......well, despite being comfortable in public displays in most areas, I am PETRIFIED of playing piano solos. There are just so many fingers!!! My heart races, my knees shake and my fingers sweat and twitch so badly it's hard to play. You can ask my husband. I will gladly stand before and audience and speak for an hour and be okay with it, but ask me to play the piano for 3 minutes and I truly think I'm going to die.
When I was about 14, I played a solo in church, which was a disaster. In the middle of my performance, the air in the building kicked on and most of my loose pages blew off the piano and onto the ground. It was bad. Really bad.
Ever since, I WANT to dodge ever being asked to play, but I KNOW that the Lord has blessed me with this talent and I would be terribly ungrateful to not use my talent, especially to help others feel His love.
So today was the same as usual. Could hardly speak to my family in the morning, couldn't sleep last night, etc.......so this morning I hit my knees, praying for strength and perspective, then I headed off to church early to practice just a few times.
As I practice the Lord totally called me out.
As my fingers shook and I wanted to cry, it went like this:
Him: Have you done all that you could do to prepare?
Me: Yes, You know I have.
Him: Then WHY do you insist on keeping control of this? Why won't you trust Me. Oh, and this isn't about YOU anyway, it's about Me.
At that point, I had to let go, and know that I had done I'll I could do to offer my best to the Lord, and that somehow, in His goodness, He would magnify my abilities and make up the difference.
And He did.
The End.
2 comments:
And you did fantastic! It's like one of those things where you go .... Seriously you were nervous? You could never even tell. It was very well done.
Dear... I wish I could have been there... but it might have made your anxiety greater and then you might have forgetten to have this prayer and the following excellent experience. So, now perhaps next time I can attend safely.
On this subject, I asked Korban to play his fiddle for the older scouts at the cabin last weekend, and he did. We talked later about how much harder it is to play "under pressure," so he should play in front of people every chance he gets. However, I told him that I'm still humbled by the effect it has on me. There are some many fingers... and I'm also then considering how it's coming across and lose my focus, etc. I empathize with you dear, and love this story of the Lord stepping in for you. Dad
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